“Low self esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on.”
— Maxwell Max —
If you don’t want to drive through life with your hand brake on, here are 8 tips on how to build your self-esteem:
1. Hang out with people who have high self-esteem. Listen to how they talk about themselves. Watch how they interact with others. Model their behaviours.
2. Turn negative self-talk into positive self-talk. In preparing for an upcoming presentation, you may think: “I’m going to get shot down.” Transform this into: “This is a great learning opportunity.”
3. Ask others for feedback. Make sure they give you some kudos. When you get constructive feedback, don’t take it as a slight (you did ask after all!). Look for the gift card. We all have “lesser strengths”, so hone in on new behaviours you need to adopt.
4. Ask for help. Rather than beating yourself up because you’re drowning in admin work or you can’t turn on a dime for someone, ask a respected peer how they handle similar challenges.
5. Set realistic goals. Stop comparing yourself to others. What’s achievable for you? When you achieve your goals, reward yourself.
6. Take accountability for your actions. Stop blaming your parents, your siblings or the boss from hell three jobs ago. As an adult, what you do and how you feel is your responsibility.
7. Stick to the Golden Rule. By treating others the way you want to be treated, for example, with caring and respect, they will respond in a like fashion. This will build your self-esteem.
8. Build your self-awareness and your self-knowledge. Do an inventory of your skills and strengths. Write down your personal and work accomplishments in the past month or so. Maybe you started a fitness program and stuck to it or you coached a peer at work. Look for your successes.